Words mean things.

Hi, all. We’re back again. We’re still here. That’s good.

Breathe.

I’m saying this to myself as much as I’m saying it to you. It’s been a really rough three weeks for the entire world. I happen to live in the United States, and to say there is “a lot” happening right now would be the understatement of the admittedly young year. Need an overview of it all? Here you go.

Lately, I’m reminded constantly of Warsan Shire’s phenomenal poem, “what they did yesterday afternoon,” particularly these two stanzas.

You may or may not recognize that name as the featured spoken-word poet in Beyoncé’s Lemonade short film. Warsan Shire is London’s first Young Poet Laureate, a British-Somali woman born in Kenya who writes frequently around the themes of immigration, womanhood, grief, and the unique pain of feeling like you belong to multiple places and no place at all.

I am thinking about her, and people like her, a lot these days.

Why, you might be asking, should you care about any of this?

Well, I hope that’s why you’re here. I hope you’re here because you want to care, and because you know words are powerful. Warsan Shire’s words are powerful. Your words are powerful.

When I’m not thinking about current events and having incredible bouts of panic and sorrow, I’m thinking one word in particular.

Fuck. 

Did you balk at my use of that word, even a little? That’s okay. It’s a powerful word. It can be used to offend, to joke, to express dismay or anger, as a noun and a verb, or simply to make oneself heard. Many of us are taught that this word is crass and shouldn’t be used, or that it’s a mark of a weak thinker or classless person.

Here is the truth: it is just a word.

That’s it. That’s the long and short of it.

But here’s another truth: words mean things.

I’m sure most of us have heard a variation of the old grammar school rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I also think most of us know that while that sentiment might work against mild verbal bullying from children, the core of it isn’t true. Words can very much hurt us, in more ways than we might realize. The damage just isn’t visible.

Consistent verbal bullying that attacks us for personal traits, like our gender or the color of our skin, can result in raised levels of anxiety or depression. Some research even indicates that yelling, put-downs, and threats can cause literal brain damage. When people are exposed to a constant level of social and verbal belittling, the effect on our psyche is extremely damaging.

Perhaps you’ve also heard this phrase: “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

That specific quote comes from Edward Bulwer-Lytton, a 19^th Century British author and playwright, although the sentiment has been shared for thousands of years across multiple civilizations. It’s a phrase meant to convey the idea that the written word is more powerful than a physical weapon; that you can change the course of history through words better than you can through brute force.

Is it true? How much weight do we put on words, anyway?

A lot. We put a lot of weight on words.

Words created our great works of literature, our philosophy, our history. We use wordplay to craft poems, songs, and jokes. Words are how we explain complex ideas in simpler terms so more people can understand them. Great speeches can move people to tears or inspire them to violence.

Even our holy texts are created with words that we consider to be the word of God.

When we want to wound someone deeply, we choose words that are intended to hurt. We all know this. When we call someone a slur, or curse at them, or tell them they’re worthless or talentless or disgusting or any of the million, million other ways we try to make other people smaller, we are trying to hurt them.

And yet.

And yet, even when we knowingly do this, we brush it off. We pretend we didn’t just open a wound. We laugh and say oh, that? That was a joke. You weren’t supposed to take it seriously. If you’re hurt, that’s your fault. Words are just words. They don’t mean anything. They can’t hurt you.

But words mean things, and people can and do manipulate them to their own ends.

Let’s go back to the word fuck again, shall we?

When I was in sixth grade, one of my classmates muttered fuck during a lesson. Everything went quiet. We were a bunch of pre-teens who knew that word held power because adults didn’t want us to say it. The teacher stopped the lesson. He asked, “Do you know what that word means?”

Nobody said anything. A few people giggled.

He said, “I’m going to explain to you what that word means. That word comes from the Middle Ages, back when kings ruled. It’s an acronym – Fornication Under Command of the King. It was a command for people to make more children.”

He waxed on for a bit, and even used the word himself one time to illustrate his point. More nervous laughter, more fidgeting. Once his mini-lesson was done, he went back to whatever we’d been reviewing and that was that.

I still remember that. I remember the portable classroom we sat in, that the teacher’s name was Mr. Collins, and that my best friend was sitting next to me. I’ve thought of it many times over the years.

Here’s one more thing: Mr. Collins’ explanation wasn’t true.

He didn’t make the story up. That explanation is one that was touted as truth for a long time, a sort of etymological urban myth people accepted as fact. In reality, it’s simply an old Germanic word found in many Western European dialects, and it typically meant “to fornicate” or sometimes “to strike,” among other meanings depending on the language.

The memory of him stopping class to explain something to us rather than ignoring it or overreacting stuck with me for a long time. Even if his explanation wasn’t quite right, it still put me onto the path of wondering about words, how we use them, and how it changes over time.

We’re experiencing a similar language shift right now.

Tell me if you’ve heard of this one: “woke.”

How about this one: “DEI.”

I’m not here to yell at you not to use those words or pretend I don’t hear them being used inappropriately. Instead, I’d like to do as Mr. Collins did for me, all those years ago.

Do you know what those words mean? 

That’s the question he put to us. Now I’m putting it to you. Do you know what “woke” means? Do you know what “DEI” means? Do you know where they came from or why?

It’s okay if you don’t. I have very good news for you. If something you once learned wasn’t correct, you can relearn it. You can discover new knowledge and incorporate it to better understand the world. You don’t have to be correct the first time. None of us do. 

DEI is a little easier to tackle. This one actually is an acronym. It stands for “diversity, equity, and inclusion.” It’s a term that was coined in recent years to encapsulate the effort by workplaces and organizations to bring attention to societal inequalities and try to correct them through discussion, support, and initiatives meant to bring equity to all people, with special attention paid to those who are underrepresented (minorities, to use a different word).

Special attention is paid to minorities because historically, not as much attention was paid to them as was paid to the majority, and that is unjust. It’s not fair or right. Every person deserves a chance to be judged on the same playing field, and right now in the USA, that is very much not the case. It hasn’t been since the country was founded.

But what do you associate with the term DEI? What does it mean to you?

Think about it for a moment. While you do, let’s also tackle the word “woke.”

If the way you understand the word “woke” is that it is a synonym for (the same as) the term “politically correct” (P.C.) or “liberal/leftist,” then you have been misled. I want you to really stop and consider that. It is not your fault that someone misled you. A lot of people have been intentionally misleading others on the public stage for a long, long time.

The phrase “stay woke” originated in Black culture nearly a hundred years ago and is frequently found in Black music and poetry. Maybe that’s a surprise to you. Maybe it isn’t. American English has a very long history of “borrowing” words from other cultures and altering their meaning over time. So, here’s the real history.

“Stay woke” is a phrase that is intended to tell people to “keep their wits, pay attention,” except it’s used in a very specific context: awareness of racism and social inequality.

When Black people or their confidants tell others to “stay woke,” it is a unifying call. It’s saying, “by nature of who we are, we know that this society is unequal, and we know in order to survive it, we have to stay aware of the ways we are being oppressed.”

But that isn’t really the way white anchors on the news are using it, huh?

Woke mind virus. Wokeness. Wokeology. Whatever new term is coined tomorrow.

A word, once used as a type of cultural code phrase to help remind Black people that they aren’t alone and other people see what they see, is now being used as a pejorative (put-down) for any person or idea with leftist or progressive leanings. And it is not a mistake that it’s been taken from Black people, specifically.

White Americans have a very long history of adopting Black cultural slang for their own use, altering its meaning and removing all of the original context. Sometimes it’s an attempt to be seen as culturally aware or cool, but more often it’s a way to mock progressive thought and Black people, who are the most Democratic demographic in the United States.

That is a very long, very deep conversation. I encourage you to read more about it.

Words mean things. How we use words means more.

Words once meant to uplift and create community can become words meant to mock, wound, and destroy. People make the change intentionally.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Weapons kill the body. Words can kill a mind. Taken to their most extreme, words can also kill bodies by inspiring people to take up weapons. Or taking away someone’s life-saving care.

Words can also make music, open hearts, and broaden horizons.

I hope this letter inspired you to be more curious about the words you hear, how they’re used, and what they really mean. If you think someone else you know would benefit from reading it, go ahead and forward it.

As always, be well and be safe.